I was killing time on the New York Times website today when I came across an editorial collection discussing whether or not prom should be abolished, given that it has become an evening of excess of just about every sort for hormone-driven teenagers who have not fully developed the capacity for good judgment yet. I'm not criticizing them for it... it's just true that the brain doesn't mature until about the age of 26!
Well, I'm one of the abstainers who didn't go to prom when my day came. As I remember it, in the days leading up to the prom, one young man who was a friend of mine asked me to go as his date. I remember feeling terribly uncomfortable with the whole idea, in part because my parents, possibly in the spirit of the "you can date when you are 35" exaggerated rules they repeated ad nauseam, had said that if a nice young man from Whittier Christian invited me to his senior banquet, then I might be able to consider going... but a prom at my public school? No way, Jose! In fact, just as I managed a date or three before I was 35, when it comes right down to it, my parents may have let me go.
In the end, it wasn't up to them. I declined, and not for the superficial reasons most people probably assumed. My would-be date had what might be called a weight problem; that I could get over, even though I had yet to develop one myself. What I couldn't get over was his volatile temper. I had visions of being in some fabled prom-night situation I didn't want to be in with a date who had a tendency to become explosively angry when crossed. Suddenly the prospect of staying home seemed more appealing than any princess dress, wilted corsage, crowded limo and gaudy hairdo.
My fate was sealed after talking to my mom about the refusal. Mom made a case for putting the feelings of others above my own convenience, which, in this situation, meant that if I had already broken one heart, I didn't need to pour salt in the wound by accepting another. While I am not sure if that is a realistic value to cling to in the real post-high school world, it had its merits in that moment. You see, most of the guys who found me attractive had serious problems, and the upshot of accepting that premise was that I was safe at home while my classmates were up to all manner of nonsense. I simply made it clear that I didn't plan to attend and avoided any need for further refusals.
My, oh, my... yes, there were some doozies among my high school admirers. On the short list of other potential prom dates were the nearly toothless and positively reeking skinny kid who lived in a flea motel and could be found urinating on the railroad tracks in broad daylight, and there was the dark-haired awkward guy who had trouble stringing words together sufficient to communicate is intention to kill himself if I didn't reconsider returning his regard. I suppose I should feel fortunate to have been found desirable at all in that most awkward of barely post-braces life phases, but when the ones who liked me were the broken and the outcast, there sure was a lot of pressure and not a lot of promise. I was not about to take more responsibility for the continued life of the one, and my compassion was not deep enough to overlook the abject poverty and lack of social graces of the other.
There you have it. No prom for me.
I don't regret it for a second. I never have. My only potential prom-related regrets were that the dreamboat dates I would have liked to have snagged had their sites trained on other heights... but that is another story altogether.
Do I think prom should be abolished? Sure. It would have spared me having to refuse my friend and would have saved plenty of my high school acquantainces the indignity of those old early-90s prom photos with dates they would rather forget... not to mention lots of money.
Far from thinking abolishing prom is a bad idea, I would suggest that stopping with prom would be a mistake. Why not abolish high school? For that matter, why not abolish the years between the onset of puberty and the development of the frontal lobes entirely? That, my friends, would save us all a host of indignities!
Perhaps I am just jaded by my lack of prom memories. Perhaps it is all sour grapes for me. I don't know. I'm willing to entertain the idea that I just don't know the magic I missed.
I do know that I finally got my princess dress at my wedding, and eventually snagged my dreamboat and danced with him and carried a huge bouquet and ate dinner surrounded by people I actually liked! Only that party wasn't about vying to be king and queen of fickle teenage popularity: we were the ones with the crowns for the day - no questions asked!
Interestingly enough, this happened the year after my frontal lobes should have peaked, so you might call it one of my first exercises of my full capacity for judgment. I can't help but think, however, that at least some of the right synapses got firing around prom-time after all.
Yeah... you can have prom if you want it. I'll take a good book in my hair-band-poster-plastered disaster area of a bedroom and any other escape you may want to offer me from the foolishness that is teenage life. And for those of you still waiting for those lobes to come ripe... I wish you all the best, and I don't envy you a jot!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Multi-Grain Dinner Rolls
Well, we are now in the situation in which Nikki needs to keep track of all the components of her diet, primarily carbs, fat, sodium and glycemic index. This is going to be much more difficult for me to get my head around; Nikki has kept track of nutritional information off-and-on for several years. Tonight I tried my hand at a low-glycemic, high-fiber batch of dinner rolls. Here's the recipe I came up with:
¾ cup warm water
1 packet yeast
1 Tbsp sugar
½ cup unbleached flour
½ cup rye flour
1 cup spelt flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 Tbsp vital wheat gluten
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 egg, beaten
Mix the water, yeast, sugar and unbleached flour. Let this mixture sit in a warm environment for about 20 minutes, until it becomes light and frothy. (This is the proofing sponge.) Add the remaining ingredients and mix well, then knead for ten minutes or so. Let rise for about an hour. Split dough into twelve equal parts, then split each of those parts into three. Roll each part into a little ball, and place three balls side-by-side into each cavity of a muffin pan. Let rise for at least another 45 minutes. Preheat the oven to 400° F, and bake for 15 minutes.
Approximate nutrition information per roll:
140 calories
3.6 g fat
87 mg cholesterol
220 mg sodium
19 g total carbohydrate
2.5 g dietary fiber
1.1 g sugars
5.8 g protein
Daniel’s Multi-Grain Dinner Rolls
Makes approximately a dozen rolls¾ cup warm water
1 packet yeast
1 Tbsp sugar
½ cup unbleached flour
½ cup rye flour
1 cup spelt flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 Tbsp vital wheat gluten
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 egg, beaten
Mix the water, yeast, sugar and unbleached flour. Let this mixture sit in a warm environment for about 20 minutes, until it becomes light and frothy. (This is the proofing sponge.) Add the remaining ingredients and mix well, then knead for ten minutes or so. Let rise for about an hour. Split dough into twelve equal parts, then split each of those parts into three. Roll each part into a little ball, and place three balls side-by-side into each cavity of a muffin pan. Let rise for at least another 45 minutes. Preheat the oven to 400° F, and bake for 15 minutes.
Approximate nutrition information per roll:
140 calories
3.6 g fat
87 mg cholesterol
220 mg sodium
19 g total carbohydrate
2.5 g dietary fiber
1.1 g sugars
5.8 g protein
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Hooray for High Risk!
Well... not really, but I have landed back in that category again with today's diagnosis: yep, I have gestational diabetes. Apparently I failed the oral glucose tolerance test "spectacularly" and my numbers were "off the charts". I don't know how far off the charts until I pick up a copy of my medical records tomorrow... I requested them so that I can take them with me when we travel.
What all of this means for me personally remains to be seen, but I will have an instructional class next week at which I will get a meter, etc. I suppose I shall have to wing it in the meantime.
*sigh*
What all of this means for me personally remains to be seen, but I will have an instructional class next week at which I will get a meter, etc. I suppose I shall have to wing it in the meantime.
*sigh*
Monday, May 18, 2009
Endings and Beginnings
It is with sorrow mingled with relief that I announce that Daniel's father, Gordon, passed away at 9:40 on Saturday morning after a long struggle with Alzheimer's disease. While it's always hard to lose a loved one, I think all those who loved him are glad that he has been released from his physical and mental suffering. He was a pious man of faith and spent much of his life in service to God and others. He will be missed and is still loved deeply by those who knew him in this life. Gordon passed away about a month before his 50th wedding anniversary, at 79 years of age.
Memory Eternal!
-----
I hope to share more about Gordon after we come back from the services being held in his memory and honor, which won't be for another week and a half yet. Daniel and I have decided to both go after some research and discussion. I will probably be singing at his memorial service. I consider it an honor, even if I am a bit iffy about how well I will do with almost no breath support and with an even more weepy than usual emotional state!
Whether I would go had been dependent on a couple of things, including:
1. whether we could find flights on reasonably-sized planes (most air trips between here and there are accomplished by flying on a puddle-jumper to an airport in a hub city, and then flying on a second puddle-jumper to the destination airport) and anything non-stop.
2. my doctor's input about my ability to travel safely.
Those things seem to have worked out with a bit of creativity. We found a way to make the trip sort of half-drive, half-flight time-wise. We'll drive to a more distant airport that has non-stop flights to an airport in Arkansas, we'll fly a single leg of the journey non-stop in a somewhat larger small plane (60-ish seats rather than 20-ish), and then we'll drive a couple of hours from there. I'm not crazy about flying these days, so the less time we spend in a plane, and the larger the plane, the better in my book. Really, I am just glad to be up to traveling at all. A few months ago I wouldn't have had the physical strength to manage it. I have an okay from the doctor to travel for about 3-4 more weeks, so we'll make it under that wire as well.
We spent a lot of time and energy this weekend working on the house in preparation for baby. I'll share more about that when we have a bit more done, including the delivery of a piece of used furniture we found this weekend to use as a wardrobe for baby. Our main focus was moving furniture and setting up the crib so that the big stuff is where we want it to be when baby arrives. The new set-up will also allow me to start on some of the sewing I want to do for him, such as making a crib skirt and sheet.
I was, thankfully, able to help this weekend with some of the moving and sorting of our things, which was nice. I have a feeling my ability to help will only lessen as the baby grows. As it was, Daniel did the really heavy lifting and worked tirelessly to get things to a pretty "finished" condition. In the end, we managed even more than I hoped or expected, and there are lots of little details to work out and many things we don't have yet, but we're well on our way. Life is speeding up now that we've hit the third trimester. Between doctor's visits, classes and our regular concerns, we've got more to do in the average day and week.
In the process of working on the house I realized I had another real blessing connected with this pregnancy. I usually would have a pretty awful allergy attack with all of the dust that the sorting kicks up. Not this time! I wore a mask for some of the dirtier tasks and while the vacuum was running, but I didn't even have any sniffles - without medication. With all of the pollen in the air adding to the allergy potential, that's nothing short of miraculous!
Tomorrow morning I get to do the 3-hour oral glucose tolerance test, as my screening came back with elevated levels. They weren't high enough to warrant an on-the-spot gestational diabetes diagnosis, but they did warrant a second test. The majority of women who test positive on the screening will not turn out to have a problem, so I can still hope that I am one of the lucky ones that way. It would be nice not to have a new complication now that the old ones have cleared up, especially since I would have to adjust to any new lifestyle changes at about the time we are getting ready to travel. Ultimately, it's not in my hands, so I will hope to face whatever I need to face with a modicum of grace and with faith that God is still in control.
Memory Eternal!
-----
I hope to share more about Gordon after we come back from the services being held in his memory and honor, which won't be for another week and a half yet. Daniel and I have decided to both go after some research and discussion. I will probably be singing at his memorial service. I consider it an honor, even if I am a bit iffy about how well I will do with almost no breath support and with an even more weepy than usual emotional state!
Whether I would go had been dependent on a couple of things, including:
1. whether we could find flights on reasonably-sized planes (most air trips between here and there are accomplished by flying on a puddle-jumper to an airport in a hub city, and then flying on a second puddle-jumper to the destination airport) and anything non-stop.
2. my doctor's input about my ability to travel safely.
Those things seem to have worked out with a bit of creativity. We found a way to make the trip sort of half-drive, half-flight time-wise. We'll drive to a more distant airport that has non-stop flights to an airport in Arkansas, we'll fly a single leg of the journey non-stop in a somewhat larger small plane (60-ish seats rather than 20-ish), and then we'll drive a couple of hours from there. I'm not crazy about flying these days, so the less time we spend in a plane, and the larger the plane, the better in my book. Really, I am just glad to be up to traveling at all. A few months ago I wouldn't have had the physical strength to manage it. I have an okay from the doctor to travel for about 3-4 more weeks, so we'll make it under that wire as well.
We spent a lot of time and energy this weekend working on the house in preparation for baby. I'll share more about that when we have a bit more done, including the delivery of a piece of used furniture we found this weekend to use as a wardrobe for baby. Our main focus was moving furniture and setting up the crib so that the big stuff is where we want it to be when baby arrives. The new set-up will also allow me to start on some of the sewing I want to do for him, such as making a crib skirt and sheet.
I was, thankfully, able to help this weekend with some of the moving and sorting of our things, which was nice. I have a feeling my ability to help will only lessen as the baby grows. As it was, Daniel did the really heavy lifting and worked tirelessly to get things to a pretty "finished" condition. In the end, we managed even more than I hoped or expected, and there are lots of little details to work out and many things we don't have yet, but we're well on our way. Life is speeding up now that we've hit the third trimester. Between doctor's visits, classes and our regular concerns, we've got more to do in the average day and week.
In the process of working on the house I realized I had another real blessing connected with this pregnancy. I usually would have a pretty awful allergy attack with all of the dust that the sorting kicks up. Not this time! I wore a mask for some of the dirtier tasks and while the vacuum was running, but I didn't even have any sniffles - without medication. With all of the pollen in the air adding to the allergy potential, that's nothing short of miraculous!
Tomorrow morning I get to do the 3-hour oral glucose tolerance test, as my screening came back with elevated levels. They weren't high enough to warrant an on-the-spot gestational diabetes diagnosis, but they did warrant a second test. The majority of women who test positive on the screening will not turn out to have a problem, so I can still hope that I am one of the lucky ones that way. It would be nice not to have a new complication now that the old ones have cleared up, especially since I would have to adjust to any new lifestyle changes at about the time we are getting ready to travel. Ultimately, it's not in my hands, so I will hope to face whatever I need to face with a modicum of grace and with faith that God is still in control.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Next Things
Last night brought us some mixed news. Daniel's dad, Gordon, seems to have passed into the final stages of Alzheimer's and, ultimately, of life. He's not taking anything by mouth, and he didn't wake up all day yesterday, which may be something of a mercy, since recently his waking hours have been filled with signs of suffering. He's in hospice care, and he's not expected to live more than 2 weeks at the very most if his failure to take fluids continues. Considering his long battle with the disease and the fact that he has not been able to live in a way that most of us would consider fulfilling for many months, if not years, his relief from suffering would be a blessing for the family, and for him. Still, it is always so hard to let go. I'm sure the extended Johnson family would appreciate prayers that he will have, as the Orthodox consistently pray, "a Christian ending to his life: painless, blameless and peaceful," if God chooses to call him home in the days to come, and that the family will have divine comfort and peace as they say goodbye.
By God's grace, the news was not all mixed yesterday. I got a clean bill of physical health from the OB, which means that unless I have gestational diabetes (test results are pending on that), I don't have any known complications remaining.
This particular visit was with a young female OB who just came back to work after having twin girls. Last time I saw her in the hallway, she cut a much more rounded figure. I had my usual battery of questions to ask -- ranging from the sensible to the paranoid -- and through the course of our conversation she picked up one of the truths about me: "You've been reading a lot, haven't you?" I assented and then joked that I was just becoming a sort of junior OB in my free time. That was only the beginning.
For instance, she began to tell me that I should be starting to do kick counts, and I pulled out the chart I had been using for the last two weeks to do just that. "Ah, I see you have a chart," she says. "Yes," I replied. "I figured that since I would be asked to do it sooner or later, I might as well try to make it part of my routine before it becomes necessary." Much of the visit went about the same way, until she began to preface much of the information with "Did you read about _____ already?" to which I answered, "Yes."
She said the reading was a good thing as it allowed me to make sure they are doing their jobs thoroughly and well. What a refreshing attitude in a doctor! I think I like her, not the least because, when we were done, she wished "Ms. Junior OB" well.
The visit featured a new experience: the glucose challenge screening. I must say that it was one of the least pleasant things I have gone through with this pregnancy so far. First off, the glucose drink, which packs 50 grams of glucose in about 8 ounces of mouth-smarting fruit-punch-ish liquid was enough to set my acid reflux to high and leave my taste buds feeling wounded. Then there was the hour-long wait, followed by the blood letting, oops, I mean drawing. I have to hope that I don't get a positive result to this test, because a 3-hour test with more of the same (plus fasting and diet restrictions for 3 days prior) would be the next step. Yes, I'm a wimp. But no, I don't imagine this will remain among the least pleasant experiences of pregnancy. After all, I have done my reading!
Keeping the image of future pain in mind is the class we are going to tonight on "pain management options" during childbirth. I would have preferred to wait on this class until closer to birth since I have been staving off the thoughts about actual labor thus far, but considering that the next class is scheduled a few days after the baby is due, this would most likely be a case of waiting too long... so, off we go to ponder epidurals.
Tomorrow night we go to the first of two breastfeeding classes. Daniel is ready for this one. We have a book on the topic that he has made his reading material of choice for the last several days. And, no - it isn't even illustrated. (Can you tell I'm proud of my involved and supportive husband?) For my part, I've been reading novels when not reading up on pregnancy issues. I had the thought this morning that perhaps I should start thinking about reading more about actual birth and newborns and their needs, but I am still stuck in current-phase pregnancy. I happen to like it here for now.
We're debating when to set up the house for baby's arrival. It's no small thing to think about, because it means moving everything in the entire upstairs so that our room (where baby will start out) ends up in what is currently the office/guestroom and the office/guestroom is reassembled where our bedroom is now. I'm not wanting to do it too soon... while I like to be forward-thinking, I'm torn about when is the best time to up-end life as we know it in favor of life as we think it will be. Then again, if I wait until I am about ready to pop, I will probably be much less able to participate in the process physically. I'm sure we'll figure something out!
The encouraging thing about all of these things is that they are in God's hands. While some aspects of our lives will feel a bit up in the air for a few weeks, it's nice to know that they are all planned out rather carefully by someone who knows exactly what He's doing.
In the meantime, I'll keep reading.
*Postscript* (added after the pain management class)
Dan and I learned a lot about medication options in the class, but the best part was when we got a chance to talk to the anesthesiologist after the class. It turns out he really likes the OB group we've chosen and said that while some of the groups have "weak links," he would trust any of the doctors at that office in the delivery room. He also said that my chosen primary OB is very good: "He's a bit old school, but he does not make mistakes." That sounded like an excellent endorsement to me. I'm grateful for the great gyn who treated me and then referred me to such an excellent OB. I'm always pleased when I'm being treated by people who have the respect of their peers.
By God's grace, the news was not all mixed yesterday. I got a clean bill of physical health from the OB, which means that unless I have gestational diabetes (test results are pending on that), I don't have any known complications remaining.
This particular visit was with a young female OB who just came back to work after having twin girls. Last time I saw her in the hallway, she cut a much more rounded figure. I had my usual battery of questions to ask -- ranging from the sensible to the paranoid -- and through the course of our conversation she picked up one of the truths about me: "You've been reading a lot, haven't you?" I assented and then joked that I was just becoming a sort of junior OB in my free time. That was only the beginning.
For instance, she began to tell me that I should be starting to do kick counts, and I pulled out the chart I had been using for the last two weeks to do just that. "Ah, I see you have a chart," she says. "Yes," I replied. "I figured that since I would be asked to do it sooner or later, I might as well try to make it part of my routine before it becomes necessary." Much of the visit went about the same way, until she began to preface much of the information with "Did you read about _____ already?" to which I answered, "Yes."
She said the reading was a good thing as it allowed me to make sure they are doing their jobs thoroughly and well. What a refreshing attitude in a doctor! I think I like her, not the least because, when we were done, she wished "Ms. Junior OB" well.
The visit featured a new experience: the glucose challenge screening. I must say that it was one of the least pleasant things I have gone through with this pregnancy so far. First off, the glucose drink, which packs 50 grams of glucose in about 8 ounces of mouth-smarting fruit-punch-ish liquid was enough to set my acid reflux to high and leave my taste buds feeling wounded. Then there was the hour-long wait, followed by the blood letting, oops, I mean drawing. I have to hope that I don't get a positive result to this test, because a 3-hour test with more of the same (plus fasting and diet restrictions for 3 days prior) would be the next step. Yes, I'm a wimp. But no, I don't imagine this will remain among the least pleasant experiences of pregnancy. After all, I have done my reading!
Keeping the image of future pain in mind is the class we are going to tonight on "pain management options" during childbirth. I would have preferred to wait on this class until closer to birth since I have been staving off the thoughts about actual labor thus far, but considering that the next class is scheduled a few days after the baby is due, this would most likely be a case of waiting too long... so, off we go to ponder epidurals.
Tomorrow night we go to the first of two breastfeeding classes. Daniel is ready for this one. We have a book on the topic that he has made his reading material of choice for the last several days. And, no - it isn't even illustrated. (Can you tell I'm proud of my involved and supportive husband?) For my part, I've been reading novels when not reading up on pregnancy issues. I had the thought this morning that perhaps I should start thinking about reading more about actual birth and newborns and their needs, but I am still stuck in current-phase pregnancy. I happen to like it here for now.
We're debating when to set up the house for baby's arrival. It's no small thing to think about, because it means moving everything in the entire upstairs so that our room (where baby will start out) ends up in what is currently the office/guestroom and the office/guestroom is reassembled where our bedroom is now. I'm not wanting to do it too soon... while I like to be forward-thinking, I'm torn about when is the best time to up-end life as we know it in favor of life as we think it will be. Then again, if I wait until I am about ready to pop, I will probably be much less able to participate in the process physically. I'm sure we'll figure something out!
The encouraging thing about all of these things is that they are in God's hands. While some aspects of our lives will feel a bit up in the air for a few weeks, it's nice to know that they are all planned out rather carefully by someone who knows exactly what He's doing.
In the meantime, I'll keep reading.
*Postscript* (added after the pain management class)
Dan and I learned a lot about medication options in the class, but the best part was when we got a chance to talk to the anesthesiologist after the class. It turns out he really likes the OB group we've chosen and said that while some of the groups have "weak links," he would trust any of the doctors at that office in the delivery room. He also said that my chosen primary OB is very good: "He's a bit old school, but he does not make mistakes." That sounded like an excellent endorsement to me. I'm grateful for the great gyn who treated me and then referred me to such an excellent OB. I'm always pleased when I'm being treated by people who have the respect of their peers.
Monday, May 4, 2009
A New Gig
Just quickly, for those of you wondering if my job search has yielded anything other than a bunch of resume-wielding emails lost to cyberspace, I did have one very part-time opportunity come up that should give both Daniel and me a chance to do a little bit of contracting over time. There's a businessman in Winston-Salem who has need of writing, editing and web programming with a marketing emphasis, and I happened upon his ad in Craigslist and had a meeting with him last week. I think the meeting went well, considering that he gave me a thumb-drive full of files to edit when I got home. We'll see how it pans out, but it seems promising. It's super flexible, very part-time, can be done from home and has growth potential in the long-term if the business continues to grow, so it looks like the sort of thing I can continue to do even after the baby arrives if it works out well. A little pick-up work sounds nice to me.
In the meantime, I'm still littering cyberspace with resumes and cover letters. We'll see if anything comes up, but my assumption is that only the absolute right job for me is going to hire me after seeing me at this point, since my belly screams the focus of my plans in the near future, and the market is saturated with applicants. It's nice to know that God has provided for us anyway. If I reach the end of this search without a job, I will consider that a sign that my desire to stay home with my baby has been blessed... especially if the bills still manage to get paid somehow.
In the meantime, I'm still littering cyberspace with resumes and cover letters. We'll see if anything comes up, but my assumption is that only the absolute right job for me is going to hire me after seeing me at this point, since my belly screams the focus of my plans in the near future, and the market is saturated with applicants. It's nice to know that God has provided for us anyway. If I reach the end of this search without a job, I will consider that a sign that my desire to stay home with my baby has been blessed... especially if the bills still manage to get paid somehow.
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Object of Our Affections
Great news at our ultrasound today (25 weeks 5 days):
1. Everything they needed to measure was successfully measured.
2. All measurements of the baby and umbilical cord were normal.
3. My cervix was a normal length and condition.
And the biggest news:
4. No more placenta previa! The placenta has moved out of the way of the cervical opening.
We continue to be grateful for prayers!
We have another scan scheduled for next week that is a "fun scan". We hope to have more pictures to share then.
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