I got my very first sunburn of the season yesterday. Mainly it was because I didn't realize we would be outside. It was supposed to rain at 2 pm, but instead it was gloriously sunny until it was nearly 6 pm and we were on our way home after a bit of shopping.We had spent the day at the Museum of Life and Science in Durham with friends. It is a sort of cross between a museum and a zoo and an amusement park, as they have live bears and lemurs and other creatures of all descriptions, a train and a few other rather scientific "attractions". They also have lots and lots and lots of bugs and other marvelously creepy things, like brilliantly colored and highly toxic frogs.My favorite part was probably our visit to the butterfly room (as you can tell from the photos). Dan also loved it because the plants in the room reminded him of the foliage he saw growing up in Guatemala. Other things reminded him of Guatemala, too... like the enormous live rhinoceros beetle in one of the terrariums and the enormous moth pinned primly in a glass case. "We used to see those on the walls of my school occasionally," he said with a mixture of nostalgia and indifference that I find a bit off-putting in the case of a moth the size of a mardi gras mask. Since so much of what there was to see was outdoors, we did quite a bit of wandering. At one point, I even ran a little ways (kind of racing with a 12-year-old girl, which is folly at my age and shape), to catch up to the others. I don't run as a rule, and while I was winded when I stopped, I was also a bit exhilarated to find that I could still do it. So, this evening when I had finished dinner and wanted to get out and enjoy the 70-something beautiful weather and waning sunlight, I invited Dan to walk with me. We started out at about 6:45 and got home again about 7:45. We got a little daring, though... we jogged uphill to the end of the street. That was maybe 1/10 of a mile, which is as far as I dare run right about now. We walked the nature trail near our house, then turned and walked back past our neighborhood to the grocery store, where we splurged on a cold drink before walking back home. When we got to our street, we jogged the last 1/10 of a mile again. Dan, former cross-country runner that he was, remembered what it used to feel like to run... and it didn't feel like that in his knees! I'm guessing we walked a couple of miles, all told. It's fun to just get up and go, to explore bits of creation that are not everyday for us (at least not here and now), and to discover that while our joints are creaky and our hair is decidedly graying, we still have plenty of childish exuberance left.
I have been remiss about really updating the blog. I suppose that is partly because I have been too busy living to write about the process. That's a nice thing, especially when the holidays are upon us and I might be rather lonely and homesick given less to do with my time. However, lest there is some confusion, I haven't written about the things that we have done that actually matter to me. South of the Border was just a sidebar to recent life, yet it, so far, has gotten nearly all of the blog time. I plan to rectify that here.
Thanksgiving day was a bit different for us this year. We were not able to travel to our various gatherings of immediate family, and our immediate families were not able to come here. That meant we were in for a rather quiet holiday. We'd talked about either going to the rescue mission in Raleigh to help, or just taking a day to vegetate on the couch over turkey TV dinners. Either option sounded fine to me, because I don't have specific expectations for holidays at this point in my life. I mean, we picked up and moved to the opposite coast of the US just under 5 months ago, so life is bound to be altered by that.
I have some wonderful extended family in the area here, but I opted not to say anything to them about our lack of "plans", mainly because I knew we'd be just fine spending a quiet holiday and that the last thing I wanted to do when we chose to move to the area was forever alter the dynamics of my family here and create a sense of obligation to include us in their plans. In the end, my aunt called with an invitation anyway and my cousin hosted a truly lovely dinner that we both enjoyed. I only regret that I had so little to do with its preparation! My extended family were very gracious to us, and, in the end, I am glad we didn't opt to isolate ourselves for the day.
Dinner was early - at noon - so that we could watch the Packers game. (You can take my family out of Wisconsin, but you can't take Wisconsin out of my family.) I'm not much of a football fan, but even I have a "Packer Cracker" (as in nutcracker) that hangs from our tree this time of year and have been known to don a hat shaped like a block of cheese for effect. Sensing that other members of the family wanted to watch the game with somewhat less divided attention, I happily took over book-reading duty for my cousin's adorable youngest son. He, clad in his miniature jersey, sat and read the better part of 26 picture books with me, keeping one ear on the rest of the room, so he could contribute shouts of "Touchdown" and "Brett Favre" when Green Bay scored. That is time well-spent, I'd say.
On Friday, we were off to the Charleston area to visit Jeff and Heather. Daniel and Jeff have been friends since college, and they were in a band together for several years, were roommates for a time and even took ice hockey lessons together. Needless to say, they have a lot of shared history and a lot of interests in common. Jeff is witty, talented and an excellent conversationalist, and a known quantity for us. I knew that his wife Heather was beautiful, but given that we had met her only once outside of their wedding, and that about 4 years ago, I was a little bit nervous about how well we would get along... especially because they had invited us to stay in their home with them. It turns out I had nothing to fear. Heather and I talked easily and had quite a lot in common. She's quirky in a very fun way, and she's every bit as clever and pleasant to be around as Jeff is.
Together, we ate, drank and were quite merry. Dan and Jeff reminisced and talked music, while Heather and I chatted and shopped. In short, our time spent there was great. We didn't want to go back home on Sunday, but work didn't leave us with other options.
Here's where I get mad at myself. I took some pictures of our time there and managed to delete them accidentally. *sigh* At least they are coming to visit us in late December (when the Carolina Hurricanes play the Boston Bruins), so maybe I will get a photographic reprieve.
The Thursday after we got back from Charleston, Daniel's mom came to visit. Hers was a short visit, but very nice. I am not sure how it happened, but we managed to spend most of the time she was here shopping and eating. (I am noticing a trend... and yes, we do occasionally do other things). I've been on deadline this week, so I didn't personally have as much time to spend together as I would have liked, but I think Daniel and his mom had some good opportunities to talk. Among other things, they walked into town together to browse the local antique shop, and we ate together at a very homey buffet restaurant in Fuquay-Varina--the sort of place that has regulars, plastic utensils, Southern "home-cooking" and its own distinctive culture. Fun stuff!
While Daniel and his mom were out shopping, Daniel picked up a mercifully sale-priced HDTV, and we got digital cable hooked up the next day, so we have spent a fair amount of time ogling the pretty new television and acclimating ourselves to the technology of this century. I should explain that this TV came about in a rather strange way: I decided to buy NHL Center Ice cable stations for Dan for Christmas. It turns out that you must have digital cable to get those stations, and that a fair number of the games are broadcast in high-definition. Facts such as these ended up making his Christmas present turn into a relatively major investment and the TV "our" present to each other, because it's a shame to waste HD coverage of sports when you have it available to you. Frankly, though, considering all he unselfishly does to preserve peace in this house, I think Daniel deserves much more than just the ability to watch hockey in HD for 5 months...
It's been a really great couple of weeks. We are very blessed.
So... the last 12 days have brought 3 just here for the evening dinner guests, 3 family-member-live-in guests, a dress rehearsal, our first major concert here, a trip to the Carolina coast, final process on an issue of the magazine I edit (the completed magazine MUST be at the printer tomorrow and you know I have worked overtime this week...), a major purchase, several meals out, 2 large family gatherings in the area with more than just the people in our house, a fabulous birthday dinner out with Mom and Dad and, to sum up, quite a lot of fun, stress and sleep deprivation. I promise to blog and post pictures (I was the only one with a camera) when I get the magazine out and I dig out from under the two weeks of fatigue and my remaining responsibilities. In the meantime, I invite you to visit the Ibexscribe blog at right to find out about the portion of the last several days that she shared with us. In particular, I recommend the entry entitled "The Land of Cotton." I'm too lazy to add the actual link now. Maybe I will fix it later. :)
On my to do list today is to triage the house and finances, clean the Corolla, and read through the entire completed magazine at least twice. Piece of cake.
I find it hard to describe Lake Junaluska (June-uh-luh-ska, for those of you who are tempted to mispronounce it as I was). It is a Methodist retreat center, but it is unlike any retreat center I have ever seen before in that it is incredibly expansive and replete with buildings on three sides of the lake: hotels, cottages, auditoriums, chapels and what appear to be private residences. From what I can tell, the lake itself is man-made, but that makes it no less lovely.
Some of the buildings are stately, grand and ornate. Others are simple, boxy and utilitarian. The building where we stayed fit in the latter category. The walls were constructed of cinder blocks and painted an institutional white. The furnishings were mismatched and worn. It mattered little, since we spent so little time in our room; it was for sleeping and showering, and it fit that bill perfectly. At some level, the design was genius: they effectively drove guests outdoors into the beauty of the lake and mountains, or at least into the common room where other reunion participants would gather. My favorite detail of the building, I must confess, was that the rooms numbered in the 600s. Room 666 was two doors down from us. Scott, the one-time student body president, stayed there with his lovely family. I just giggled as I walked by. (Nobody said I was known for my maturity).
Part of the lodging arrangement was that we would take our meals at the dining hall. I am told that the green beans they served at that first dinner were dead ringers for the green beans at Ben Lippen 20 years ago. The food gets full marks for nostalgia. Breakfast was my favorite meal. Then again, I am a sucker for bits of fried pork and hot, fluffy biscuits with gravy.
After dinner on Saturday came my favorite part of the weekend: the Torchlight reunion concert. Torchlight was a band that formed on-campus during Dan's senior year at Ben Lippen. It was headed by Mr. White, or "Cliff" as he's known to alumni, on Yamaha DX7 synthesizer, lead vocals and acoustic guitar. It was filled out by Abner on drums, Keiichi (class of 88) switching between bass and guitar, and Daniel on flute and bass, with all of the other instrumentalists contributing vocals. They practiced in the chapel after lights out, and played at chapel, with a few shows off campus... such as appearances at a youth group and a juvenile detention center. I don't quite know how to describe them except as a sort of "praise band" with a bit more rock sensibility than was strictly necessary, and with a lot more creativity than is typical for the genre. They wrote their own material, and when I listen to these songs 20 years later and understand that in many cases they were written by 16-17 year old kids, I can't help but be impressed. The band continued for several years (13 or 14? with a break or two) under Cliff's leadership. The reunion, however, boasted the original members (sans synthesizer).
Tom, one of Daniel's classmates, told me that Dan made flute "cool" when they were in high school. He did so by being darn good at it! Dan says that he didn't make it cool; the only reason people didn't think that flute was cool already is that they didn't listen to Jethro Tull. I have to wonder if Jethro Tull made it past the music committee (or, as I shall choose to refer to them, the Culture Cops).
Now for some back-story. The weekend before the reunion, Dan says in passing that Mr. White was bummed that Dan wouldn't be bringing his flute. Dan wouldn't be bringing the flute because it wasn't in playable condition (and hadn't been for a long time). I think I had seen Dan goof around on his flute once in all of our nearly 6 years together, and that not for long. So, without his knowledge, I called around Raleigh on Monday and Tuesday looking for someone who could fix his flute in a hurry. He figured out what I was up to because I had to ask him things like "do you even know where your flute is?" and "what's wrong with it?"... What he didn't tell me is that he was reluctant to play it, fixed or not. That is, he didn't tell me that until it was in the shop. By then it was too late. We managed to get it into playable condition, and, as a bonus, it was polished and the dent that had been in it since high school was removed. So, Daniel no longer had an excuse to go fluteless. I, for one, am so glad he was without excuse! I was floored when I heard him pick up the instrument an play it in rehearsal like 20 years ago had been only yesterday. I was so busy being impressed that I didn't notice that not only was he playing the songs with only one run-through, but he was playing several of the songs in different keys. There is no capo that magically transposes for a flute - it meant all new fingering! I can't tell you how many people raved about his playing. I was too busy swooning to count. Torchlight also played for the worship time in the morning. This time, Dan was winging it on the bass. He tells me he was just guessing what the next chord would be most of the time. I must say... I married a very talented guy, and I continue to discover new ways in which that is true.
After the concert we rounded up a few people to help us sing a Rimsky-Korsakov setting of the Lord's Prayer and one of Dan's original choral compositions (this I brought without telling him) as part of the service in the morning. After a few substitutions, we ended up with a nice quartet consisting of Dan on Bass, Jeff on Tenor and April on Alto, and I sang Soprano. I heard quite a few lovely voices in the rehearsal process -- even from the people who ultimately declined to sing with us because they had to leave early or preferred not to sing on such short notice! I think we managed to pull them off quite nicely in the morning.
The worship service consisted of singing (led by Torchlight) of songs Dan and I hadn't heard in about 15 years (with the help of a trusty overhead projector and a whole box of filed transparencies), special songs shared by Mahima and Mr. Mehegan, extemporaneous prayer, a message from Tom, and the two pieces our little quartet pulled together. After the service, we met for lunch at the dining hall. The meal came with plenty of hugs and goodbyes as people began to trickle out to head back home.
The whole weekend was really lovely, even for a spouse who had known 2 people there before the event. I hardly touched all of the things that I had brought with me to keep myself occupied, and I feel like I left with new friends. Debbie did a fantastic job of planning and leading the weekend, and her husband Drew quietly did a whole lot to make sure important details (like live sound) were taken care of. I'm sure there were other people whose contributions I have forgotten. I'll claim ignorance and hope to be forgiven. :D
In short, I cannot imagine enjoying a reunion any more. My own reunions (should I even choose to go) will definitely pale by comparison. The fact is, this particular class was very special. More than half of the graduates showed up 20 years later, and everyone who was there was really great. I just hope that all of the members of Ben Lippen class of 1987 realize how blessed they are... and I thank them for letting me tag along!
----------------------- Ben Lippen moved from Asheville, NC, to Columbia, SC, shortly after Dan graduated. Here's a video from Keiichi (James) of the old campus. Dan didn't get to visit, so we will visit vicariously here.
There are several other reunion videos from James. Click through to YouTube on the video here, then click on his account name.
We were late setting out. By the time we did, the back seat of the car was heaped with instruments, clothes and the various things I had brought with me to keep myself busy (knitting, books, editing in need of doing, etc.) while Dan reminisced with old friends. It was slow going at first, and the traffic on 55 reminded me of an aspect of California I was glad to leave behind. By the time we hit I-40, we were moving again, and we had plenty of time to contemplate the coming weekend from our own perspectives.
I will be the first to tell you that I really don't do road trips well -- even short ones. In fact, I really, really dislike them. I love seeing more of the world, but I seldom enjoy the getting there as much as I enjoy the being there. I think this dislike must stem from a combination of my inability to sleep in a car for more than about 10 minutes at a stretch, the sheer boredom that comes from not being able to do anything but talk or sing without getting very sick and the fact that no traveling companion ever wants to sing or talk as much as I do to keep pass the time I spend wide awake, bored and queasy. Among his other fine qualities, Dan's patience with me on road trips is amazing. Almost without fail, he must face irritability and car-fever wackiness resulting from the combustible combination of me, a car and a long stretch of road, and he usually does it without losing his own sanity.
At the end of this stretch of road was a beautiful cabin in the woods, at which several of Dan's classmates had gathered for a pre-reunion reunion. We got there at around 10 pm, after most of the evening's festivities had finished, but there was time enough for hugs, chatter and a beer before we hopped in the car and followed Peter, Dan's sophomore-year best friend, to his house in a suburb of Asheville. Peter and his younger daughter were lovely hosts; we didn't get to meet his wife and older daughter until later on Saturday. The evening culminated with three out of the four of us present trying to coax all 3 of the family cats out from under the bed where Dan and I were to sleep. The fourth of us (that would be me), rather enjoyed watching the spectacle!
Dan and Peter pulled out memorabilia that they shared over breakfast, including old pictures and yearbook messages. I confess it was somewhat enlightening. Hahaha! In some of our more quiet moments, I taught Sabrina to knit. By noon, it was time to pick Paco up from the airport. So, off we went to the Asheville airport, after a quick stop to gather sound equipment from Peter's church. From the airport, we were off to the McDonalds near lake Junaluska, where several more classmates had gathered. Around 3, we were off again, this time to the actual reunion.
Wherever we happened to be -- at the cabin, Peter's house, McDonalds, the airport and at the lake -- It was fun to watch Dan reconnect. Some of the people there were still local, others had driven or flown from rather distant places. All of them seemed to have fun getting back in touch. For my part, I did my best to keep track of names and faces, and I spent plenty of time sharing how we met and agreeing that Dan is, indeed, very talented (and handsome)!
More to come, but, in the meantime, I can't resist: more 80s music for context. The inimitable Michael W. Smith.
If I had a nickel for every one of Dan's classmates who told me they would never had recognized him if they had seen him on the street before meeting him again this weekend -- 20 years after their graduation -- I'd only be able to buy a small package of gum... but that is more a consequence of the size of his graduating class and less an indication that there was any disagreement on the matter or any reluctance to talk about it. I suppose his bright yellow and green "Ben Lippen Falcons" shirt (vintage 1987 and still the right size, if a bit more snug than before) helped to remove any confusion as to his identity, but they would have me believe Dan has changed quite a lot in 20 years.
Really, when it comes to *his* High School reunion, I'd like to think that Dan would share his own impressions for posterity, but since I am about as sure that he won't post about it himself as some of his classmates are sure that he's a changed man, I figure I will offer a wife's-eye-view. The weekend itself was short -- just Friday night through Sunday night, but there seems to be plenty to talk about, so I will make a few different posts to try to keep my own thoughts in some order and to break the weekend into manageable chunks.
Even though I am camera queen, I didn't bring it out much in the first few days, so while I have things to say about much of our time, I don't have a photographic record of much of it. For any of Dan's classmates who may have the misfortune to stumble across my musings, the photographs won't be necessary anyhow; they'll have filed the events away more perfectly as memories. Just know that as I write I have the love theme from "St. Elmo's Fire" (See below) running through my head as I type, thanks to a mention of the song by one of Dan's classmates on Saturday night. My guess is that it was sung by two of the girls at or near graduation, much like it was sung at my junior high graduation in 1988. What better way to put this late-80s class into its context? Okay, there are several better ways... but if you don't like mine you will have to come up with your own.
We laughed Until we had to cry And we loved Right down to our last goodbye We were the best I think we'll ever be Just you and me For just a moment
We chased That dream we never found And sometimes We let one another down But the love we made Made everything alright We shone so bright For just a moment
Time goes on People touch and then they're gone And you and I Will never love again Like we did then
Someday, when we both reminisce We'll both say There wasn't too much we missed And through the tears We'll smile when we recall We had it all For just a moment
Time goes on People touch and then they're gone But you and I Will never really end We'll never love again Like we did then
We laughed until we had to cry And we loved right down to our last goodbye
Though the movie most certainly had objectionable content, I can only assume that this song passed the music committee. What exactly were you thinking, Dan?
I found out today that a child I read about on the news several days ago was the son of someone I know. The story had made me cry as it was, back when it was just an anonymous child that had no connection to anyone I care about. I only knew his mom by first name, and her name wasn't mentioned in the news coverage, so I didn't put the two of them together when I read what had happened. I talked to her online today and she told me about him.
Here's a picture of James that I have had on my computer for at least a year. This was in early 2006, so he had grown a bit since this picture was taken.
I can't claim to understand this sort of thing at all. It seems so very unfair.
Justin is only a day old, but he's not wasting time when it comes to making an impact on other people's lives. Like every baby, he overflows with the newness and simplicity and beauty that brings out smiles and the softer, gentler side of grown-ups. Unlike most babies, Justin suffers from a severe congenital heart defect and will have to undergo surgery in the first days of his life.
It's not clear what the future holds for him -- how much he will suffer, how much he will overcome, how much he will accomplish -- and that's hard to think about. I don't claim to really understand why some of us are chosen to endure hardships that others of us will never face, but I do believe it all somehow figures into a plan that is much larger than our limited perspectives. I don't understand, but I am grateful for the way this little gift of God has already challenged my thinking and allowed me to glimpse God's faithfulness in and through circumstances we would not have chosen for ourselves and those we love.
If you pray, please pray for Justin and his family. They keep a blog here, updated as often as is practical. I would invite you to visit it to see Justin's picture and read more about his situation. His family has bravely chosen to make their very personal struggle public in hopes that it will encourage or help others whose loved ones are born with serious challenges like Justin's.
While medical science tells us that Justin's heart is imperfect, the truth is that he is a perfect creation of God with all the heart he needs to be an inspiration and a joy to others.
I got my very first sunburn of the season yesterday. Mainly it was because I didn't realize we would be outside. It was supposed to rain at 2 pm, but instead it was gloriously sunny until it was nearly 6 pm and we were on our way home after a bit of shopping.
We had spent the day at the Museum of Life and Science in Durham with friends. It is a sort of cross between a museum and a zoo and an amusement park, as they have live bears and lemurs and other creatures of all descriptions, a train and a few other rather scientific "attractions". They also have lots and lots and lots of bugs and other marvelously creepy things, like brilliantly colored and highly toxic frogs.
My favorite part was probably our visit to the butterfly room (as you can tell from the photos). Dan also loved it because the plants in the room reminded him of the foliage he saw growing up in Guatemala. Other things reminded him of Guatemala, too... like the enormous live rhinoceros beetle in one of the terrariums and the enormous moth pinned primly in a glass case. "We used to see those on the walls of my school occasionally," he said with a mixture of nostalgia and indifference that I find a bit off-putting in the case of a moth the size of a mardi gras mask.
Since so much of what there was to see was outdoors, we did quite a bit of wandering. At one point, I even ran a little ways (kind of racing with a 12-year-old girl, which is folly at my age and shape), to catch up to the others. I don't run as a rule, and while I was winded when I stopped, I was also a bit exhilarated to find that I could still do it.
So, this evening when I had finished dinner and wanted to get out and enjoy the 70-something beautiful weather and waning sunlight, I invited Dan to walk with me. We started out at about 6:45 and got home again about 7:45. We got a little daring, though... we jogged uphill to the end of the street. That was maybe 1/10 of a mile, which is as far as I dare run right about now. We walked the nature trail near our house, then turned and walked back past our neighborhood to the grocery store, where we splurged on a cold drink before walking back home. When we got to our street, we jogged the last 1/10 of a mile again. Dan, former cross-country runner that he was, remembered what it used to feel like to run... and it didn't feel like that in his knees! I'm guessing we walked a couple of miles, all told.
It's fun to just get up and go, to explore bits of creation that are not everyday for us (at least not here and now), and to discover that while our joints are creaky and our hair is decidedly graying, we still have plenty of childish exuberance left.
