So far, so good.
The extemporaneous prayers are great - allowing me to fill in whatever specific thoughts and worries I may have as I go, and most nights I drift off to sleep with some prayer or another half-spoken in my heart. When my mind is too disordered to formulate complete thoughts, I meditate on the Jesus Prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. That prayer has had particular power in my life some dark moments. Among other things, I have found that saying that little prayer will dissolve nightmares when I achieve consciousness of my dreams enough to pray. It is meant as an aide to the Biblical injunction to "pray without ceasing," which is possible if we teach our hearts to pray. I'm a very imperfect practitioner, but I do find that sometimes I become aware that I am praying it only after I have begun.
For all that, I had begun to look for some established prayers to use as well. Extemporaneous prayers are all about me, in many ways... my worries, my hurts, my gratitude, my wants, my will. One thing I like about more formal prayers that have been in use for centuries and across the globe is that those careful words make it all less about me and teach me the mind of the Church about my wants and worries. They let me know that I am not alone in my worries and fears. They allow my mind to find focus in ordered words - my mind that is so prone to worried wandering.
One would think that, since the Orthodox have a rich tradition of formal prayers, since the marriage service is full of admonitions to bear Godly children, and since childbirth is how we all got to be here, there might be quite a selection of topical prayers on the subject. If there is, I had trouble finding it. I finally found 3 prayers today, which was a great boon! I have chosen to share two of them here:
O Sovereign Lord Jesus Christ our God, the Source of life and immortality, I thank Thee, for in my marriage Thou has blest me to be a recipient of Thy blessing and gift; for Thou, O Master, didst say: Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. I thank Thee and pray: Bless this fruit of my body that was given to me by Thee; favor it and animate it by Thy Holy Spirit, and let it grow a healthy and pure body, with well-formed limbs. Sanctify its body, mind, heart, and vitals, and grant this infant that is to be born an intelligent soul; establish him in the fear of Thee. A faithful angel, a guardian of soul and body, do thou vouchsafe him. Protect, keep, strengthen, and shelter the child in my womb until the hour of his birth. But conceal him not in his mother's womb; Thou gavest him life and health. O Lord Jesus Christ, into Thine almighty and paternal hands do I entrust my child. Place him upon the right hand of Thy grace, and through Thy Holy Spirit sanctify him and renew him unto life everlasting, that he may be a communicant of Thy Heavenly Kingdom.
Amen.
O All-Merciful Christ our God, look down and protect me, Thy handmaiden, from fear and from evil spirits that seek to destroy the work of Thy hands. And when my hour and time is come, deliver me by Thy grace. Look with compassionate eye and deliver me, Thy handmaiden, from pain. Lighten mine infirmity in the time of my travail and grant me fortitude and strength for birth giving, and hasten it by Thine almighty help. For this is Thy glorious work, the power of Thine omnipotence, the work of Thy grace and tender-heartedness.
Amen.
I wonder if I could sleep at all if not for the priviledge of taking my thoughts and worries and hopes, as the old Baptist hymn says, "to the Lord in prayer."
P.S. Another thing for which to be grateful: the OB office called today to let me know that all of the bloodwork they have done to date is fine - among other things, I don't carry the cystic fibrosis gene mutation, and the baby does not appear to be at risk of having any of the trisomies.
6 comments:
Your little one will be used to hearing prayers as normal behavior long before he/she is born.
Some cross-blogging: thanks for prayers re food. I have been in the crossfire for YEARS. The only food that doesn't evoke war is spaghetti sauce made without any oils; I steam the onions and peppers in the tomato juice. I also invented the dump chili that's on the St.John site, but no one's that fond of it.
When I tell Bob that every priest I've talked to - Father Paul (memory eternal), Father Andrew, and Father Joe here in Coatesville - say a diabetic can't totally abstain from oil, he replies "you're not a diabetic, because you don't shoot insulin". (Rationale is that oils and protein slow down absorption of carbohydrates.)
I hate to get Father Joe directly involved in the row, because he was a middle school kid here in C-ville when Bob was graduating from HS. I suspect Bob would pull the age-rank cards.
Bob had no problem with me not fasting when I was pregnant, but I was still a Protestant then.
Enough of my rant. Looks like Nature is shaking things up a little because of your age. (I bore Maria at 33 and Rachel at 36.) Eat healthy food in moderation, like you have already been doing, and let Dan do 90% of the worrying..
OOPs - forgot to mention that Bob is having glucose problems now, and his way to deal with them is to skip medication to save money.
I think God is speaking.
I would think that trying to fast properly with diabetes would be very difficult - especially avoiding excess carbs and getting enough high quality protein. I suppose, though, we do things sometimes for the sake of our loved ones that we wouldn't do left to our own devices. I'm certain that your deference to your husband and your dedication to pious living will be rewarded in any event.
I, on the other hand, have a husband who once ordered me to eat non-fasting foods for the remainder of a fast when he saw that I wasn't doing well physically and otherwise. I remain very grateful for his recognition of my weakness. Whatever else may be true, living in fellowship creates its own challenges - and rewards. Each of ours are different.
Those are beautiful prayers. That's great news that your blood work is fine. Have a happy and heathy pregnancy..I know it's very hard but try not to worry much.
That's good that Daniel recognizes when you need to have more strength. Keep up it Daniel!
"Amen" to those prayers.
I want to meet a child of you two. Even with "regression to the mean," I doubt 'twill be ordinary.
Prayers for the eternal.
And all of our prayers are a sweetness to the Lord.
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