Musical Spankings

"Whenever I am feeling musically superior and need to be taken down a notch, I need to come here." Daniel, on the topic of the Choral Society of Durham. "More like 18 notches for me." Nikki, in response.

Last week we privately auditioned for the Choral Society of Durham, and this week we, out of obedience, attended the first rehearsal, though we have not yet been notified as to whether we have been accepted in the group. My theory is that they require this first rehearsal as a filter: allowing the director to see which of the auditionees are serious enough about the group to show up, and making sure that the auditionees have had an experience of the group that will allow them to decide for themselves whether they feel the group is a good fit when invited to join. It serves another purpose for us: a way to increase our disappointment if we should happen to not make the cut.

This was not our first exposure to the group, as we had gone to a sing-through rehearsal a few weeks ago. Our overall impression of this group was that if there is any way they will have us, we want in... though I hasten to add that neither of us feels quite up to the task. These people can sight-read spots on flypaper and respond to direction well, quickly and accurately. They manage to sing together with nice tone and blend, even with 150 voices, and with some respect for dynamic markings, all during the first read of a piece of music. Add to that the fact that they are warm and welcoming of new people and you have a dream... or a nightmare, if you stare unflinchingly into the face of your musical inadequacies.

We now know there is a choir in the area we would like to be a part of. What we don't know is whether they would like us to be a part of them. We decided to cancel our North Carolina Master Chorale auditions and hang our hopes on this group, so strongly did we connect with its vision, people and direction. If this does not work out for us, we will keep looking for a singing opportunity together, but we'll both be not-so-secretly disappointed.

Joining this group would not be without cost, personal and financial. There is a lot of music to buy, concert dress to procure and lots of personal commitment to muster. Durham's a good 45-minute drive from home for us. Getting there on time, which is absolutely expected without exception, would be a challenge, and getting there at all will cost us in gas.

As for personal cost, I, for one, would absolutely have to carve out time to spend with the music at home. I simply cannot read with the speed and accuracy of the majority of the choir. During the audition, my voice was labeled "lovely", but the reading portion of my audition was not my brightest hour.

It was also not so dismal as my failed reading test for a large, showy choir in Southern California which shall remain unnamed, in large part because the Durham director seemed more concerned with determining if I know the rudiments of reading music, if I am teachable and if I can take direction than he was with discovering whether I already possess immaculate musicianship. So, rather than consigning my paperwork to the nearest round file without a second thought when I misjudged intervals and botched rhythms and then accusing me of already knowing the piece of music that I had never seen before when I actually succeeded at reading (as happened in the other case), this director worked with me on the passage from Bach that I had so badly mangled on my first abortive attempt, asking me to isolate and fix trouble spots and acknowledging that I had managed to get some things right on the first pass (what they were, I have no idea!). It was about as painless as a music reading test could be for me, knowing how sadly that aspect of my musicianship is lacking. I did, before I left the office, have the opportunity to remark that reading is not my strong suit. Working very hard to learn what I need to learn is. We shall see if that is sufficient.

Daniel, on the other hand, gave what the director called the "best reading yet" in this series of auditions. That is an excellent start. However, he had a cold at audition time and his voice was not at all in top form. That, and Daniel's voice is not as trained and honed as those of many of the choir members' voices are sans cold. We discussed beforehand whether mentioning the cold was wise, and we settled on "no excuses" as the best approach. So, Daniel didn't feel particularly confident in the vocalizing he did in the audition, but he didn't offer the singer's bane: "I'm not singing well today because...". Singers are never in top form. There's always something wrong. So, just shut up and sing.

Together, we have enough raw material to make one rather talented singer. Alone, we each have plenty of room for growth. That is how it actually works out, too, because we come as a pair. This is something we do together, so... if they want my "lovely" voice and Daniel's excellent sight-reading, then they also get my bumbling reading and Daniel's not-so-trained voice.

We've been looking at what we did well in hopes that we find enough that is bankable. We hope that another thing in my favor, since my reading is sorely lacking, is the rather respectable list of solo opportunities I have had in the past, thanks mostly to the marvelous Scott Farthing, whom we miss terribly, and who trusted me to perform as a soloist on several challenging classical pieces. We hope that list of solos will say, "someone gave her multiple opportunities to be featured in a very exposed way. This must indicate an ability to rise to the occasion, even if she cannot quickly and accurately sing a piece on sight." Speak, musical resume... speak!

This choir feels to us like the perfect opportunity. They consistently choose programs of the music we like to sing. The choir would force both of us to grow. It would provide opportunities to get to know local musicians. It would provide us the chance to sing with a group that has an excellent reputation and with a director who is respected and talented.

That said, I think it is time we are both taken down a notch or 18. Either way it will happen. We'll find ourselves unworthy of invitation, or we will be invited and find ourselves in need of repeated smacks in the musical rump, in the form of weekly reminders of how much we need to grow as musicians. We'll see which spanking is in order. In the meantime, we've both had fun!