Thanksgiving

We walked into a Food Lion on Sunday last, past the old man waiting for his wife on the bench just inside the door, past the lottery machines and a display of store brand soda, past a pile of pale green rectangular boxes. It was time to buy the last few provisions we needed for our Thanksgiving dinner, and I had coupons and a carefully prepared list at the ready on my utilitarian brown clipboard. Unemployment has brought out the bargain-hunter side of me, so I split my grocery trips between the Food Lion on one corner and the Harris Teeter on the other. Time is in greater supply than money, and in this way I can stretch the food dollars without adding much to the gasoline tab.

Food Lion is the unfashionable store; the grocery store of the everyman -- the first one in a fledgling town and the one that claims the less glamorous clientele once the glossy chains move in. It isn't the scrubbed-clean mega-market with shining displays of organic produce and high-end specialty foods; Instead, it boasts a comparatively impressive display of Hispanic foods and a meager smattering of representative items from each category of item you might expect to find in a grocery store.

We walked through the aisles and picked up about $50-worth of food from the list -- well, it was generally sold for more than that, but sales and coupons knocked a great deal off of the cost, and I was having fun thinking of the money we weren't spending. Cream soup cans and toilet paper and other necessities piled up in the cart, and we made our way to the line, passing cart after cart filled with cascading Banquet frozen entrees and the various pork products that seem to be the store's mainstay, along with the tell-tale traditional foods of the holiday.

One of the most shocking aspects of life in the South for the Southern California girl in me is that nobody seems to be in much of a hurry here -- ever. I watched a man at a tire shop earlier this week patiently approach the young man at the front desk to inform him that the repair job he had ordered was still not done properly... first they forgot to rotate the tires, then they didn't check the pressure, and the list went on. Still, the man, clearly frustrated but always polite, simply waited until the job was done right and chatted with me about hockey in the interim. It was that or watch a particularly insipid Judge-Somebody-or-Other show on the TV in the corner of the waiting room. We both chose sociability, and patience, over the voyeuristic pleasure of watching people humiliate themselves on television. Waiting is just what we needed to do, and far from being weird, being neighborly is encouraged.

The lines in the Food Lion are another chance for the exercise of patience, or reflection, or catching up with an old friend who just happens to be in the next line, or a friendly exchange with the decidedly-unstylish, probably overweight and pimpled checker. In this case, while I waited for my shot at the rotating belt counter top, I chose to ponder the huge water bottle on the end of the counter that was filled with miscellaneous small change and bore a hand-written sign: This Thanksgiving will be difficult for all of us. If you can spare anything, we'll make sure it goes to the needy of our community. I looked at the meager offerings in the jar, and at to my cart as my mind wandered up the street and into our refrigerator where our turkey was thawing. I bought it early in the season while smallish birds could still be found. I realized then that even though I was jobless and our shopping was budgeted rather carefully, I didn't have to worry about whether or not we could pay for this food. Not one bit.

I thought back over the last year -- the miscarriage, our job losses, the move I didn't want to make, all of the uncertainty about the future -- all of the things that scared and pained me. Then I looked at the selfless, kind husband who had agreed to accompany me to the store when I know he would have rather been almost anywhere else. I soon found that my eyes were starting to burn. There was this amazing feeling that washed over me, something I had never felt so clearly. It was gratitude. I felt so incredibly blessed, because through His mercy God has seen to it that we haven't have to worry about the basics of life through any of it, and I have love and family and friends and health and so much to be grateful for.

When it was our turn to check out, the checker looked at the box of store brand stuffing (backup in case my scratch stuffing doesn't work as planned or something to add to a future dinner in a hurry) and sweet potatoes and other goodies destined for our table, and she reminded me that I had forgotten the turkey. I smiled and thanked her and told her I had one thawing in the fridge.
Then the checker turned to have a quick exchange with the box boy about the pale green boxes we had passed in the front of the store. "Have those been purchased?" he asked, motioning to the large pile that formed the display. "No," she replied, and she straightened the box in front of us and asked us if we wanted to buy one for five dollars. I looked at Daniel and he shrugged. "Yes," we said, and she thanked us asked the box boy to fetch a replacement from the big pile and added our one box to a very small pile behind the counter. The box contained name-brand thanksgiving fixings sufficient for one person for one meal. Suddenly another feeling washed over me... shame. Ours was such a small gesture, such a tiny offering that doesn't begin to address the real need of those in my neighborhood. I had an urge to buy the whole pile, but that was checked by the reality that we cannot afford that, as much as I would like to.

My imagination started working. Who would get that small box? How would they feel to open it and eat the contents? Ashamed? Grateful? If so, perhaps we shared in the same feelings as well as the same humanity and the same geographic region. I was ashamed as I looked at that five-dollar box and thought of the hundreds of dollars I spend in ways I can't easily account for when so many go hungry around me. I was grateful that there was something I could do at one of the leanest times in our lives together that would fill another belly for one special day.

We walked back out, and the old woman joined her husband. We grabbed our bags and packages of paper goods and waited for a man, and then a woman, to come in out of the cold. We set off through the bracing wind to fill our car with good things, and I fought back tears as we started the short drive back home in relative silence.

I don't know how to say thank you. I don't know where to begin. I do know that this Thanksgiving, my heart is as full as our small family table will be, and I am truly grateful.

Wunderzeit!

A Double EP is being released by Daniel's long-time musical collaboration, Writ on Water, today.
I might add that today just happens to be the anniversary of the day that Daniel and I met, and it is my patronal (St. Katherine's Day) so it is a special day for us on many, many levels.

I continue to be amazed by the accomplishments of the man I have been fortunate enough to share the last seven years with, and I am grateful to get to see on a daily basis what so many people don't: that he has incredible talents that largely remain hidden under a bushel because of his failure to mention these things to anyone. So, while he won't crow about this latest accomplishment... I will!

For the uninitiated, Writ on Water's music is informed by a Christian worldview, but it appeals to a broad audience. Listeners trying to put it in a genre may label it with terms like "shoegaze," "post-punk," "space rock," "experimental" and "darkwave" (terms which I confess not to understand, but pass on for those of you who may). Don't let the words scare you... the music itself is a peaceful, yet energetic, tapestry of sound infused with a great deal of love.
The private "release party", a.k.a. Thanksgiving dinner at our house for the two of us and Jeff (the voice and main creative force of Writ on Water) and his uber-lovely wife, Heather, will be held on Thursday.

I would invite any of you who may be wish to experience Writ on Water's musical output to visit the links at the beginning of this post.

I, with the uniformed mite, ask WHY?

Why the UC Regents should reconsider that enrollment cut...

Based on the following gem, from a comment, on an article, on the enrollment cut, by the UC Regants, from the US News and World Report site, about which I care as a UC Alum:

"The uniformed mite ask WHY?"

I suggest that the knead four hire education is grater then ewe mite think. As an aside... I love a mite in uniform.

P.S. It snowed last night!

P.P.S. The terribly awkward structure of the above sentence beginning "Based on..." was intentional, too. I haven't completely lost all sense (just almost all cents).

P.P.P.S. Okay... I will stop now.

From the Archives of our Lives

We had a wonderful visit from Steve, Jayne, Thomas and Paul (Dan's oldest brother and his family) several weeks ago, but it just happened to coincide with my work situation taking a left turn, so while I have had photos and things to say about it for a while, I never managed to do so. It's long overdue by now, but I will hope that "they" are right when "they" say, "Better late than never!" Unfortunately, I seem to have lost more than half of the photos from that time in the intervening weeks. I had, for instance, some really cool shots of our nephews hanging about in treetops like monkeys, but I have not been able to locate them. *sigh* I do, however, have a couple of the photos I took back at the house (after the boys went and got sunburnt at the nearby water park). The less camera-shy members of the family appear somewhat more often than the rest of us. I, for instance, never handed the camera over to anyone else, so I just don't appear at all!During their visit, we went out to eat quite a lot... in fact, I think we did more eating than anything... which was great, since it allowed us to try some of the restaurants we had not yet been to. We also went to Old Salem (which took much more time than anticipated) and did a few other things around town. I managed to cook dinner one night, but it wasn't one of my more shining moments. :) There were plenty of fun moments, including the time when a young girl tried to pick up on Paul in the local Fuddruckers, where the burgers are enormous and the clean-up staff ask for tips in not-so-subtle ways. Back to Paul's admirer... I won't repeat what her friend said in response since it was shockingly frank, but the admirer managed to tell Paul he was "hot" straight out. I, of course, found this to be delightfully funny. I can afford to find it amusing since I am not the mother of teenagers. Speaking of teenagers, Sonic seemed to be a favorite destination for the visiting family, so trips to get drinks and munchies were frequently on the agenda. I didn't object to that either.

Wherever we were, there was an abundance of silliness. I attribute most of it to the boys of the family. I am sure that Jayne and I always comported ourselves admirably. I'm quite sad not to have some of the other photos to share that would have captured even more of the levity, but these few shots will provide a peek at the Connecticut clan's visit to our spot on the globe. While this is arguably *not* the most exciting place to be, we hope they will consider coming again.

Where We've Been (There's No Place Like Home)

I have been MIA for a while, but that mostly has to do with the move we just completed. We moved into the house we'd already been living in. Sounds strange, perhaps. We had intended to move elsewhere, but when we gave notice here at the temporary furnished housing, our landlord made us an offer within 5 minutes that we, well, couldn't refuse - a very significant reduction of our rent, and the opportunity to move our own things in. So, last weekend, he moved his things out, and we moved ours in. Many many thanks are due our friend Erik, who came and helped for the weekend, allowing us to be completely unpacked and settled by the end of one week!

The majority of my time has been spent packing up the landlord's things and unpacking ours. When not doing that, I have been couponing (got to love $220-worth of groceries for $118, though I am determined to do even better), job hunting, budgeting, changing our address and doing a variety of other home-related tasks, including things I haven't done in ages, like ironing shirts for Dan, cooking dinner every day and baking sweet goodies for him to take to work. All in all, I have been more busy than I was when I was working full-time. It's been a good busy, though, and I feel the healthiest and most content I have in a long time, in part, I am sure, because I seem to run up and down the stairs in here a few dozen times a day! I am a domestic goddess, until I am called upon to do something else... and dare I confess that I kind of enjoy it?

We still have some kinks to work out when it comes to sorting out life as it will be now, but I'm feeling much more settled and happy than I was for a long time. In the good news department, MooMoo recovered well after having almost all of her teeth pulled (she now has only one fang, poor dear), Daniel was hired permanently at his new job with a possibility for a review and raise in three months, and we think we can scrape by with things as they are if need be. More money would definitely be handy, though, so perhaps those of you inclined towards prayer can pray that we find another source - work for me, a raise for him or whatever is needed.

Here's a slide show of our new digs - it's a 2 bed 2.5 bath townhouse, for those of you who haven't seen it. It's complete with such budget-conscious items as $1 garage sale curtains and a tablecloth re-purposed as a "headboard"! (As an aside, We decided that the initial investment would be worthwhile in both energy savings and eco-friendliness, so we've put energy-efficient bulbs in all but about 4 or 5 fixtures and lamps in the house.) While it would be lovely to be able to replace some things (my desk, for example, is a $20 folding table from Walgreens) and there are plenty of things on my "someday..." wish list, I have been pleased with the way things have turned out, and what I didn't have to spend to do it!



Finally, what post would be complete without plenty of cats? Here are assorted kitty pictures taken this morning... Monte LOVES the roses Dan bought for me, as you can see. I don't have the heart to tell Monte that they weren't for him.
I'm going to try to backtrack a bit here in the next few posts, because there is plenty I haven't written about, including visits from loved ones and other of our recent activities. Stay tuned, as I hope to get going on the blog again now that we have a comfortable place to live and a semblance of order and serenity in our lives.