I remain amazed at how beautifully serene our little guy is. Even though he has clearly been teething, as evidenced by the tiny tooth which now graces the left side of his jaw, he has still been a very pleasant boy. I have noticed a slight upswing in fussiness, but it is hardly worth mentioning. Daniel and I feel so incredibly blessed to have been eased into parenthood by such a gentle soul.
Ian's favorite activities these days are bouncing, bouncing and bouncing. He loves his Jumperoo and his door-hanging jumper. They are a Godsend for me since we've been working so hard to keep him off of the back of his head when he is awake. Having jumping toys means I can put him down while I cook or do other things that don't allow for baby holding very easily and he is entertained. It seems to have instilled in him the beginnings of cause-and-effect reasoning, since he tries to make himself bounce in other situations as well.
Our trip to the grocery store in advance of the snowstorm that came through Friday night comes to mind; he had tired of sitting in the kiddie seat portion of the cart, so I held him over the seat in a standing position while we waited in line. He bounced, with my hands serving as his supports. One nice feature of the bouncing is that it tends to tire him out. By the time we got to the register (someone had coupons and rain checks and I think we were in line for about 20 minutes), he was sleeping with his head on my shoulder. He was so sweet that I (uncharacteristically) asked for help out to the car so that I could leave him sleeping there as long as possible!
Last Sunday Ian also tried to bounce his way through liturgy. I held him to my chest, facing forward, as is his preference, and he rhythmically moved his body forward and back, which was the best approximation of bouncing he could muster with his legs immobilized. I tried to retain both my dignity and my balance as the service progressed and some of the men across from us in the choir shot us bemused smiles. It was rather cute, if I do say so myself.
Ian is still eating nature's best baby food about 95% of the time. I've had to give him formula occasionally for various reasons, and we've offered him some rice cereal at dinnertime, but we're not in any hurry to vary his diet too much. We'll talk to the doctor in a few days when he has his 6 month check-up to see how he suggests we introduce more solids. When we do begin solids, I know I want to make the food myself. It's kind of fun to think about what I can do and which foods I am most anxious to see him try.
The biggest news, in that it could be the most life-changing for all of us, is that I have had an interview for a job that I believe would fit me very well. Working while mothering a small child is not my ideal in a perfect world, but it is a practical choice in the real one, and one that Daniel and I have been talking about quite a lot lately. Our hope and prayer is that we will find a safe, affordable daycare situation and that I will find, if I am to work, a well-paying job that is an excellent fit for me so that my enjoyment of the job will offset in part the sadness that comes when I contemplate leaving my baby in childcare so that I can contribute to family financial solvency. Some of the promising things about this particular job are a degree of flexibility with working from home when necessary, a 35-hour work week, a staff with a fairly large number of young mothers and work that I am confident I can do well.
Prayers are appreciated as we figure out what the future holds. I have taken some short videos to share and will post them soon. Right now, I am long overdue for bed!
Night night!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I don't expect you to understand...
... but I thought I would share, for those of you who do.
Skip to the next post if you are just looking for a more generic update!
I finally contacted my old OB's office last week to ask for the report that was generated when we lost our first pregnancy. The baby was a triploidy XXY boy, which means he had an entire extra set of haploid chromosomes, a condition that causes profound abnormalities. Triploidy is believed to account for about 17% of miscarriages, and triploidy babies who do survive until live birth do not survive for very long. The longest-lived triploidy child on record lived for 10 1/2 months.
I'm not writing this to be dramatic or morbid, but because this recent decision marks an important change in my heart. We lost him almost exactly two years ago, and quite early in the pregnancy. I knew about the triploidy from about 6 weeks after the sad events, but I did not know his gender. I think it was too painful at first to think of that loss in terms of having lost a son or daughter, however unusual his chromosomes. All of the fears of the partial molar pregnancy and the anguish of the process overwhelmed me, and it was all just too much.
Now, looking back, it seems merciful that he did not live longer, both for his sake and for mine. It's only now I am more grateful for his short presence with me than I am saddened by his loss, and, while I would have loved him and wanted him in any condition, I am glad he didn't suffer all of the agonies of a short life in a broken body.
Now that we know he was a boy, there are new possibilities. We haven't named him yet, but we are thinking about doing that, since we are firmly convinced that any life, no matter how short, is worth celebrating and remembering, even if we are the only ones who know or care about him. We know his gender, something most parents who have lost a baby so early do not know, so I feel a certain responsibility to somehow use and honor that knowledge.
He was a special part of our lives and brought incredible joy for the few weeks he lived in me. He ushered me into motherhood, but left the rest of the job of breaking me in to Ian, opting to take God up on his offer to sing in the heavenly choir.
Not a bad idea, if you ask me.
Skip to the next post if you are just looking for a more generic update!
I finally contacted my old OB's office last week to ask for the report that was generated when we lost our first pregnancy. The baby was a triploidy XXY boy, which means he had an entire extra set of haploid chromosomes, a condition that causes profound abnormalities. Triploidy is believed to account for about 17% of miscarriages, and triploidy babies who do survive until live birth do not survive for very long. The longest-lived triploidy child on record lived for 10 1/2 months.
I'm not writing this to be dramatic or morbid, but because this recent decision marks an important change in my heart. We lost him almost exactly two years ago, and quite early in the pregnancy. I knew about the triploidy from about 6 weeks after the sad events, but I did not know his gender. I think it was too painful at first to think of that loss in terms of having lost a son or daughter, however unusual his chromosomes. All of the fears of the partial molar pregnancy and the anguish of the process overwhelmed me, and it was all just too much.
Now, looking back, it seems merciful that he did not live longer, both for his sake and for mine. It's only now I am more grateful for his short presence with me than I am saddened by his loss, and, while I would have loved him and wanted him in any condition, I am glad he didn't suffer all of the agonies of a short life in a broken body.
Now that we know he was a boy, there are new possibilities. We haven't named him yet, but we are thinking about doing that, since we are firmly convinced that any life, no matter how short, is worth celebrating and remembering, even if we are the only ones who know or care about him. We know his gender, something most parents who have lost a baby so early do not know, so I feel a certain responsibility to somehow use and honor that knowledge.
He was a special part of our lives and brought incredible joy for the few weeks he lived in me. He ushered me into motherhood, but left the rest of the job of breaking me in to Ian, opting to take God up on his offer to sing in the heavenly choir.
Not a bad idea, if you ask me.
Remember us?
Hello again! It has been a long time, as some of you have reminded me. I thought I would actually use this space again today to provide a few Ian updates and photos. With any luck, I will eventually press "publish" and you, dear reader, will see the fruits of my renewed labors.
A lot has happened since I last updated... a Thanksgiving-time trip to Williamsburg, Christmas at home, a visit with the Steve Johnsons at New Years and several new developments from Ian, who seems intent on growing up.
Where to begin? I'm going to buck the wisdom of Maria von Trapp and start at the end, largely because I find it so exciting. Today I put Ian down on the floor on his tummy while I was pumping his breakfast, and when I looked back at him after checking on my progress, I found him on his back. This is huge! A few weeks ago, I "taught" him that rolling over was possible by rolling him onto his tummy with one arm under him and then helping him to roll right back. As recently as last night he could not, however, roll over at will, and he became quite frustrated with his abortive attempts. He seems to have figured it out now, though, because he has managed to roll over entirely unassisted four times so far today, and he can do it when he decides not to melt down instead. I got the fourth time on camera:
Yesterday brought another milestone. We launched a program of eating dinner together around the table, now that we have a sturdy table and chairs and a booster seat for Ian. Those were procured this weekend from a consignment outfit and Target, respectively. The table and chairs are 70s-vintage, solid pieces that have the potential to last another 30 years, and while they perhaps lack a little something in the aesthetics department, they work perfectly for us and the price was right (cheap). Ian's dinner consisted of his usual milk in a bowl with a spoon. He did pretty well with the spoon concept (you might say he's had practice with spoon-feeding at communion at church), but he doesn't really like the experience since it lacks the efficiency of a bottle. In order to not frustrate him completely, after about 15 spoonfuls we put the rest in a bottle and let him finish up the usual way.
(Here we pause for baby comforting and play)
Now, to backtrack a bit. We've established a bedtime routine for Ian--bath, book, bottle, banana brush, blessing and bed (more on the banana brush in a moment)--and he now goes to bed quite nicely at his appointed hour. He usually doesn't even cry if he has his pacifier, and he falls asleep within 5 or 10 minutes. He has a somewhat later bedtime than he will have in a year or two, but it works nicely for us now. We have time together as a family in the evening, then he goes to bed. He sleeps until about 8 am, and the grown-ups, who still go to bed really late, actually have some time to ourselves after he goes to sleep.
About that banana brush... we've had lots of drooling and some fussing that would seem to indicate that some teeth are in the works. No breakthroughs yet. In preparation for the great tooth eruption, we have procured a baby banana brush (a silicone training toothbrush that just happens to be in a banana shape) that we use to get him used to the idea of brushing his teeth. He seems to like it... and it's kind of cute. :)
Ian was baptized in late October during a visit from his Grandma and Grandpa on mommy's side, as well as his two aunties (Erin and Angie), his uncle Jon and his cousins Talia and TBA (who is not yet visible as more than a bump). Ian and Mommy and the rest of the extended family went down to Charleston for a few days, which meant Ian's first visit to another state. The visit was very enjoyable for us! Pictures from all of this activity are on the other computer, so I will try to put them up later. To assuage you, I offer kitty and kiddy napping together. The kitties are discouraged from getting in and on Ian's things, but once in a while the results of kitty defiance are too cute to disrupt immediately.
Ian picked up a new state - Virginia - over Thanksgiving. It was the sort of trip we are almost able to laugh at now, but at the time it was almost more stressful than it was enjoyable. Having a baby who requires tons of gear (much of it milk pumping/storage supplies) made for a stuffed-to-the-gills car, and the site-seeing was minimal just because it took so much out of us to get ready to go for the day, and everything we needed for the day tended to have to be carried with us. Backs groaned and stress grew and unforecasted sleet fell and we had a bit of the sort of luck Daniel's brother Steve seems to enjoy -- almost comically bad. You know what they say, though, "What doesn't kill you...", well, in this case, it just kills your wanderlust for a while. That said, it was worth doing. We now just know what it is like to travel with a baby!
We had a pleasant visit with Dan's mom after we got home from the trip. We didn't do much, but it was much less stressful than the trip, we enjoyed her company, and we think Ian's grandma rather enjoyed Ian. :)
Christmas was quiet at home with just the three of us. It was quite nice. The grown-ups opened gifts in the wee hours of Christmas morning in order to take advantage of quiet time while Ian was sleeping to have Christmas ourselves. Once Ian awoke, we opened his presents with him, which took hours on its own. He was not hurting in the gifts department, and we have lots of people to thank for that!
We had a lot of fun visiting with Steve, Jayne, Thomas and Paul over New Years. Most of the visit was spent in a low-key fashion at our place with the help of Bananagrams and Wii. It is fun to see how Ian's cousins have grown into great young men. Paul especially enjoyed Ian, so it was fun to watch them interact.
A slideshow, which includes video of Ian opening one of his Christmas presents, follows:
Ian has started a once-a-month visit to UNCG to participate in a study on the emergence of hand preference in infants. The first visit was fun, as it just meant play and a $10 Target gift card. The card went a lot of the way towards the purchase of his booster seat.
It's time for Ian's bottle and he has tired of helping me type, so I had best sign off. I will probably add some photos and video later, so check back if you managed to see this in the unadorned version.
Until then, we hope you are all enjoying a wonderful 2010!
A lot has happened since I last updated... a Thanksgiving-time trip to Williamsburg, Christmas at home, a visit with the Steve Johnsons at New Years and several new developments from Ian, who seems intent on growing up.
Where to begin? I'm going to buck the wisdom of Maria von Trapp and start at the end, largely because I find it so exciting. Today I put Ian down on the floor on his tummy while I was pumping his breakfast, and when I looked back at him after checking on my progress, I found him on his back. This is huge! A few weeks ago, I "taught" him that rolling over was possible by rolling him onto his tummy with one arm under him and then helping him to roll right back. As recently as last night he could not, however, roll over at will, and he became quite frustrated with his abortive attempts. He seems to have figured it out now, though, because he has managed to roll over entirely unassisted four times so far today, and he can do it when he decides not to melt down instead. I got the fourth time on camera:
Yesterday brought another milestone. We launched a program of eating dinner together around the table, now that we have a sturdy table and chairs and a booster seat for Ian. Those were procured this weekend from a consignment outfit and Target, respectively. The table and chairs are 70s-vintage, solid pieces that have the potential to last another 30 years, and while they perhaps lack a little something in the aesthetics department, they work perfectly for us and the price was right (cheap). Ian's dinner consisted of his usual milk in a bowl with a spoon. He did pretty well with the spoon concept (you might say he's had practice with spoon-feeding at communion at church), but he doesn't really like the experience since it lacks the efficiency of a bottle. In order to not frustrate him completely, after about 15 spoonfuls we put the rest in a bottle and let him finish up the usual way.
(Here we pause for baby comforting and play)
Now, to backtrack a bit. We've established a bedtime routine for Ian--bath, book, bottle, banana brush, blessing and bed (more on the banana brush in a moment)--and he now goes to bed quite nicely at his appointed hour. He usually doesn't even cry if he has his pacifier, and he falls asleep within 5 or 10 minutes. He has a somewhat later bedtime than he will have in a year or two, but it works nicely for us now. We have time together as a family in the evening, then he goes to bed. He sleeps until about 8 am, and the grown-ups, who still go to bed really late, actually have some time to ourselves after he goes to sleep.
About that banana brush... we've had lots of drooling and some fussing that would seem to indicate that some teeth are in the works. No breakthroughs yet. In preparation for the great tooth eruption, we have procured a baby banana brush (a silicone training toothbrush that just happens to be in a banana shape) that we use to get him used to the idea of brushing his teeth. He seems to like it... and it's kind of cute. :)
Ian was baptized in late October during a visit from his Grandma and Grandpa on mommy's side, as well as his two aunties (Erin and Angie), his uncle Jon and his cousins Talia and TBA (who is not yet visible as more than a bump). Ian and Mommy and the rest of the extended family went down to Charleston for a few days, which meant Ian's first visit to another state. The visit was very enjoyable for us! Pictures from all of this activity are on the other computer, so I will try to put them up later. To assuage you, I offer kitty and kiddy napping together. The kitties are discouraged from getting in and on Ian's things, but once in a while the results of kitty defiance are too cute to disrupt immediately.
Ian picked up a new state - Virginia - over Thanksgiving. It was the sort of trip we are almost able to laugh at now, but at the time it was almost more stressful than it was enjoyable. Having a baby who requires tons of gear (much of it milk pumping/storage supplies) made for a stuffed-to-the-gills car, and the site-seeing was minimal just because it took so much out of us to get ready to go for the day, and everything we needed for the day tended to have to be carried with us. Backs groaned and stress grew and unforecasted sleet fell and we had a bit of the sort of luck Daniel's brother Steve seems to enjoy -- almost comically bad. You know what they say, though, "What doesn't kill you...", well, in this case, it just kills your wanderlust for a while. That said, it was worth doing. We now just know what it is like to travel with a baby!
We had a pleasant visit with Dan's mom after we got home from the trip. We didn't do much, but it was much less stressful than the trip, we enjoyed her company, and we think Ian's grandma rather enjoyed Ian. :)
Christmas was quiet at home with just the three of us. It was quite nice. The grown-ups opened gifts in the wee hours of Christmas morning in order to take advantage of quiet time while Ian was sleeping to have Christmas ourselves. Once Ian awoke, we opened his presents with him, which took hours on its own. He was not hurting in the gifts department, and we have lots of people to thank for that!
We had a lot of fun visiting with Steve, Jayne, Thomas and Paul over New Years. Most of the visit was spent in a low-key fashion at our place with the help of Bananagrams and Wii. It is fun to see how Ian's cousins have grown into great young men. Paul especially enjoyed Ian, so it was fun to watch them interact.
A slideshow, which includes video of Ian opening one of his Christmas presents, follows:
Ian has started a once-a-month visit to UNCG to participate in a study on the emergence of hand preference in infants. The first visit was fun, as it just meant play and a $10 Target gift card. The card went a lot of the way towards the purchase of his booster seat.
It's time for Ian's bottle and he has tired of helping me type, so I had best sign off. I will probably add some photos and video later, so check back if you managed to see this in the unadorned version.
Until then, we hope you are all enjoying a wonderful 2010!
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